Five-Foot Nothin'

The 21 Year Old Shirt

  May 12th and Day 10 of the quest. (If this is your first time reading Five-Foot Nothin', read post 'Blowing It' for quest explanation).

By the way, for those of you faithful FFN readers, I know -- You haven't had anything to read lately. My apologies. Life happens -- Sometimes in no small way -- And forces you to make choices. In this case, my choices were to:

1. Take the time to physically continue with the quest every day, or...
2. Write about the quest every day and sacrifice performing something new daily.

As passionate about words as I am, I will tell you with no apology how much more of a fan I am of action. It is so much more important to DO SOMETHING NOW...and write about it later.

So, I chose #1:  To stay true to the purpose of the quest, and perform action every day. And yes, I am grossly behind in reporting about it.

And as long as I am begging for forgiveness, please forgive me in advance that my reportings will not necessarily be listed in the order they were performed. I can assure you, that they are all authentic with the sincere motivations and responses stated.

Without further delay...Back to Day 10 of the quest:

In teaching seminars on Guest Service, I've become known for a phrase I've likely uttered hundreds of times: "If they want it, it might as well be oxygen."

As human beings, we often look at each other with judgment about what people 'need' -- What they 'need' to do, what they 'need' to say...what their family or relationship or career really 'needs' to succeed, etc. However, when it comes to evaluating our own 'needs', we have a lot of difficulty deciphering 'need' from 'want'. Our emotions, our desires, our undeniably tendencies for selfishness as human beings redefines what we 'want' and could certainly live without, into a 'need' that we are all experts at convincing ourselves we must have to continue breathing properly.

The line between real 'need' and actual 'want' is so blurred in our society...Most cannot truly distinguish the two in a moment of truth: Where you spend your cash. Really. Our society, despite the economy, is still sitting fatter and happier than most in the world. And that's the truth. And we all have more to give than we are willing to admit.

People have lots of 'reasons' why they are not currently giving. And most excuses are centered around the idea that they will give 'someday'...'Someday' when they feel they have what they 'need'...when they can then 'comfortably give'.

That makes no sense to me. We are human beings -- Giving is never comfortable -- it's against our nature. It will always feel uncomfortable to give something away.

And who said it had to be a lot? And who said it had to be money? And do people really believe that someone else's suffering, or life-threatening predicament or illness will wait until we are comfortable? It's ridiculous when you think about it. Everyone has something to give. It may not be a lot...maybe just a few dollars or if that is even too much, they have their time, or strength, or ideas. EVERYONE has something to give.

The other day, I had the privilege of meeting a man who does charity work in a third world country -- A land of people who have never seen cars or computers. They also have never seen water purification systems or immunizations. Every day in this land, people...especially the children are in danger of losing their lives. They truly do not have what they 'need' to survive. 

Although too modest to mention it himself, a mutual friend of ours pointed out that the charity worker was wearing a shirt my friend had given to him...21 years ago. This honorable man, truly knowing the difference between what he needs to survive and what is a 'want' and luxury, has spent his life ensuring all monies and material goods that come his way are used to their highest yield without waste. And that all other 'extras' go to those who have less than he has. Remarkable -- And completely humbling.

When the unexpected moment to potentially donate to this cause came about, I felt I didn't have much to give. I had five dollars in my purse...and that's it. With embarrassment, I pulled the modest five dollar bill from my wallet and apologized for the size of my contribution. The gentleman looked confused and corrected my apology. "What are you apologizing for?" he asked. "You just payed for 10 doses of penicillin that will save 10 lives in the jungle."

I was stunned. My five dollar bill...that might cover a latte and tip...just payed for the hope of 10 lives. Lives that would not wait until the day I think I can 'comfortably give'.

Whoever you are and wherever you stand...please...find a way to give..whatever you can or however you can.

355 more adventures and stories to go in the quest. If you like what you read, please feel free to post your comments, subscribe or pass it along. Thank you for reading...

- Dolores McKay

Rescue Extraordinary

Day 1 of the quest and Real Life rears its ugly head to combat me. Real Life taunted me all day long. Nagging me every minute about work, phone calls, emails...the kids, the dry cleaning...and chiding that gas and groceries are essential for suburban survival. Real Life droned on, "Just get through what you have to do...then you can think about the rest."

You know, Real Life can be a complete, ignorant jerk.

What Real Life was telling me was absolutely false. Yes, things have to get done. And get done well. Family, work and life-sustaining biological needs will not wait. But the approach that we often hear Real Life whispering in our ear is tainted with ridiculously dangerous...well, hooey. Here's what's wrong with what Real Life was saying:

1. 'Just' is a four-letter word. It dangerously diminishes everything. Period.
2. 'Get through'...What sort of wonderful ever came from 'just getting through'?
3. Thinking about 'the rest' after 'just getting through'. Seriously? 

Are we honestly supposed to reserve living at our best for the spare moments after we've successfully achieved mediocrity? Absolute nonsense. Yet if you look around, isn't that what most people are conditioned to think?

Extraordinary, the pursuit of it, and sadder yet-- the belief that it will be a part of one's life on any given day,  is often viewed with the same likely odds as winning the lottery. 

And so the mission for Day 1 became clear: Rescue Extraordinary.

Responsibility wouldn't wait. So, I bought 10 lottery tickets and carried them in my purse while Real Life tried to shove me around all day. And as I completed my tasks, I would occasionally pull one out of my stash and give it to a perfect stranger who was at work, helping me with mine. At the gas station, at the drug store and at the grocery store.

The results were amazing.

• 100% never asked my name. Good. That's exactly the way I wanted it. Who I am is not important....this was a true gift for them...absolutely no strings attached.
• 100% of their eyes widened. When extraordinary happens, you open your eyes wider to capture more. Very Cool
• 80% of their postures straightened significantly. I always like to see people feeling good and standing tall.
• 80% responded: "For ME?" or "Really?" They couldn't believe it was truly for them.
• 70% of the color in their faces increased. Blushing? Maybe a couple. But a sure sign that blood is pumping a little faster. Vitality is good.
• 50% thanked me 3 times. You know someone really means something when they repeat the idea 3 times in 90 seconds.
• 10% went completely speechless and had to get bailed out by their co-worker for a response at first. Priceless.

The daily grind. Most are in it...and can't wait to get out of it. Social Media is filled with groans of: "Is it Friday yet," like a school child watching the hands of a clock. And when the 'five-o-clock whistle' finally blows, they turn to escapism: Watching other people they've never met have extraordinary things happen to them. Vicariously 'living' (that's not living at all) through public figures.

Conversely, for the rest of their shift, these ten people could tell their co-worker's about the extraordinary thing that just happened to them. Not some actor or sports figure--THEM. And for the rest of the evening, they were once again permitted to own good fortune for themselves. And for the rest of the night they had a reason to imagine and anticipate more good things happening to them: "What if I win?"

When these ten people punched out for the day, they didn't have to go live their lives through someone else on the screen. Last night, they had their own extraordinary story to tell. And to the listener of their extraordinary story, I can't help but think that maybe...just maybe...the listener gave themselves permission to wonder if something extraordinary could happen to them, too.

Real Life will always be around. But yesterday, Extraordinary was rescued ten times over from  drowning in 'getting through' and gave Real Life a run for its money...

Much appreciation and admiration to the diligent associates of Cheveron, Trader Joe's, Bashas' and Walgreens: Marc, Tiffany, Cin, Jeremy, Jon, Chris, Clark, Tim, Chris Y and Nicholas.

By the way, it appears that someone won the lottery last night. Although my actions were small, perhaps the results were larger than I'll ever know.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to add your comments - I'm interested. If you like what you read, subscribe and pass it along.

- Dolores McKay

Prove What?

Amazing what can happen in twenty-four hours. Simply  amazing.

To those who sent incredible notes about the Five-Foot Nothin' quest, I am not only grateful, but moved beyond words. (You can imagine how seldom that happens).To know this undertaking means something personal--the fact it means something at all to you --is a humbling honor.

Writers have a sole purpose: To be read. And writers have one hope: What is read makes a meaningful impact on the reader. I thank you.

I must admit, I was delighted some of you picked up on the origin of the blog name: The movie 'Rudy'.

One of my favorite movies of all time (that's an understatement), I am not only completely inspired by it, I can completely identify with Rudy.

After a lifetime of beating the odds, accomplishing what he was told since birth he could not...and for that matter...should not dream of doing--Rudy pursues his ultimate passion: becoming a member of the Notre Dame football team.

You see, Rudy had a best friend. One person that dreamed Rudy's dream with him...every day...with belief in his heart that Rudy was great enough to do anything he imagined--Including running out of the Notre Dame tunnel in blue and gold. It was upon the sudden loss of his friend that Rudy finds the courage to do whatever it takes to finally make his dream real.

I get that. Without that special person to dream it with you, the only solace is to stop dreaming about it and make it a reality. Yeah...I really get that.

Despite massive rejection from organizations, family support and even his fiance, Rudy finds a way. Not without healthy doses of temporary failure, not without bruises to the body and the spirit..Rudy finds himself where nobody thought he belonged - Notre Dame football.

I get that, too. As a self-proclaimed 'weed' *(*see blog post: Blowing It), I sprout up all sorts of places people don't think I should be at first.

When Rudy learns however, that his last chance to 'dress' as a player for Notre Dame (he had never put on the uniform on game day) will not come to fruition, Rudy quits. His chance to prove himself to the world will not happen and he is defeated. And like the rest of us, when we make a huge mess out of our lives, sometimes we need a 'janitor' to come and clean up the thoughts in our head. It is for the matchless scene between Rudy and the janitor that straightens him out, this blog and quest are named. I have attached the clip for you to watch.

The janitor points out despite whatever innate disadvantages Rudy has, his tenacity and diligence is proof enough of what Rudy can do.

"You're five-feet nothin'...a hundred and nothin'...and you got hardly a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in with the best college football team in the land...for two years. And you're also gonna walk out of here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this lifetime you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody...except yourself. And after what you've gone through...if you haven't done that by now...It ain't gonna never happen."

Starting today, for 365 days, I've got nothing to prove. That would be a waste of my time and energy. I'm in this quest because I've got something to give...every day that I'm breathing. And I want to give the best I can until I stop breathing.

I'm five-foot nothin'...not even a hundred and nothin'...and I'm gonna walk out of this life leaving it all on the field. Period.

Thanks for dreaming with me Laura. Now that you're gone, it's time for me to make it a reality.

Time to go cause some trouble. I'll be posting daily, my activities from the day prior...

Thank you for reading. If you like what you see, feel free to comment, subscribe and pass it on...

-D-

Blowing It

Before you draw your first breath, life has already set you up with special advantages. Some are born with gifts of intelligence, others with wit ,and others win the genetic lottery, etc. My special advantage? I was born a poor nerdy kid. Seriously.There are a number of advantages to being the school brain from a very humble home:

1. You never have to worry about what to wear to school. Whatever one of your sister's isn't wearing...well...there you go.
2. Deciding where to eat lunch is a non-issue. There are specific tables near the trash cans reserved especially for your status.
3. You have a lot of time to think freely without interruption...from anyone.
4. There's absolutely no reason not to go for it  with whatever freaky thought you have - You have no reputation to protect.
5. You  have the best toys in the world that never break: Your imagination and ingenuity.

I remember the first time I blew on a dandelion flower. I was four and my big sister told me to so I did it without knowing why. After my sister grew tired of my company, I diligently scoured the yard to find every last dandelion to blow. Halfway through the garden, my kindergarten imagination figured out what happened to all the fluffy white stuff blowing in the wind. The process became crystal clear to me:

First, you close your eyes and make the best wish you can make. Then, you take a deep breath and blow on the dandelion as hard as you can. And then, I was positive--the little white pieces floating off and scattering about, were in fact--fairies with the mission to carry out your wish. Furthermore, I was confident the reason why there were so many fluttering in every direction, was because they were individual fairies assigned to accomplish different tasks to make your wish come true. Tiny troopers each doing their part of the mission--helping one another--for the overall benefit of someone else.

This was of course, before anyone could tell me I should look at them as undesirable weeds. This was prior to anyone explaining the last thing I should want to do is blow on them, thereby, multiplying the 'problem'. Where grown-ups saw dandelions as a problem, I saw endless opportunities of hope with thousands of agents to make it happen. In fact, I never called them dandelions. They were 'wishflowers'.

So, as an incurably nerdy kid,  I always found myself free to wonder, imagine, explore and create whatever I wished. And once I grew (in age if not stature) I tried to make it a point to wish a lot...And then do something about it.

And then life happened. I grew up too much. I started seeing obstacles. I got sick.  I lost a dear friend. Life got messy. And so did my desk. And the house. And my yard. As I surveyed the lack of maintenance of the garden, I groaned at the thought of all the work the weeds were creating for me. Until the wind picked up and I--for the first time in too long--chose to see not a weed, but a wishflower.

I was blowing it. How many days had gone by that were full of weeds?  When did wishflowers become extinct in my mind? When did I forget that every day held its own magic unlike any other? And most importantly, how could I let another day go by without making a major change? So here it is (the major change):

I want to be a wishflower. Actually, not the whole flower, just one of the little seeds that when needs or wishes breeze by me, I take my little self and do what I can (with the help of others) to benefit  those around me--everyday. But talk is cheap--A person's got to really do something to make a difference. Thus, the blog site and my promise.

Beginning Tuesday, May 4, 2010 for the duration of 365 days, I will find a distinct way to be a 'human wishflower'--doing something different to bring a little hope, help or happiness regardless of what my schedule dictates--and record it in this blog.

Why? In one year (May 4, 2011) on the completion of my quest, I will use this journey as  material to launch one of my life-long dreams: a character-building program for school age children and teens accessible to all income levels nationwide. (more on this later) 

Why a blog? I'm a five-foot nothin' tiny piece of a wishflower. I'll take all the help I can get while I give. The end-result program will be so much stronger with the insights and actions of others. Not to mention how much more fun it will be...

Why May 4th? On May 4, 2009 I lost one of my best friends and more importantly, the world lost an angel that walked among us. The Five-Foot Nothin' Quest and end-result Children's Program are dedicated to her beautiful legacy. Her memory and the inspiration of my three treasures: Brendan, Francesca and Avana fuel my passion for what can be accomplished this year, for the benefit of generations to come. And that makes me feel ten feet tall.

Thank you for reading...Please subscribe and read on starting May 4th.

-D-